Dear Diary

Sunday, June 28, 2009

R.I.P.

R.I.P.

Farrah Leni Fawcett

February 2, 1947 – June 25, 2009
Never knew heard of her before and never watched the original series of Charlie's Angels, but all I know/remember is that she died from (anal) cancer. When she was famous, her hairstyle was famous and popular for young women. I know that for sure because my mom also had her hair the same way Farrah had hers. I also found out Friday night that Farah is my friend's grandmother's cousin, but they're not invited to her funeral because supposively Farrah didn't want anything to do with her family. My Gma told me that both her and the guy she never married were 2 very weird people.

R.I.P.

Michael Joseph Jackson

August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009

*Just to make something clear to everyone, I never liked MJ as a person. ONLY for his music and amazing dance moves. * I know that everyone will remember when the King of Pop dies. When I heard the Jackson passed away, I was getting ready to leave to go with my mom and little sister to drop off my cousin at his soccer camp. He got a text from his friend saying that he died. When he told me that, I thought that it was just a joke. I couldn't believe it. We turned on the news and Jackson was on every station. There was a video of him being rushed to the hospital at UCLA. The whole time I was in shock. It was one of those things where you think that it is just a big prank, but I started to get texts from my own friends saying that he died. Then when we left, my favorite radio stations was playing his songs, even songs from way back when he was in Jackson 5. When either 102.7 or 97.1 started to play "I'll Be There" by Jackson 5, I was close to crying because I felt so sorry for his family and my cousin that lives in Georgia (he was such a big, big fan; he is a DJ for D Street - his own company).

It was just depressing. I wasn't focused on the molestation case or whatever the tabloids said, they're just a bunch of BS anyways. I know there was a case, but I didn't really care. I liked him for his music, not how weird he is.

He was different and a unique person.

He felt the music everywhere throughout his body and was able to move and dance incredibly.

William "Billy" D. Mays, Jr.

July 20, 1958 – June 28, 2009

Mays was found unresponsive by his wife in his Odessa, Florida, home on the morning of June 28, 2009. He was then pronounced dead at 7:45 am, appearing to have died sometime overnight. The Associated Press reported that there were no indications that the house had been broken into, and that police did not suspect foul play.
On June 27, Mays had been aboard US Airways flight 1241 which suffered a blowout of its front tires. The violence of the landing caused some loose objects in the cabin to strike some passengers. Mays told a local Tampa television station that some of the objects "hit me on the head, but I got a hard head." It is unclear whether Mays' death was related to the incident, but his wife noted that he felt unwell when he went to bed on the night he died.
The "But wait! There's more!" guy is dead. Ha! I remember making fun of his advertisments with my dad all the time! Good times!

*Information about Billy Mays is from Wikipedia.

I LOVE GARIN 7:10 PM

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Stand In The Rain

"Stand In The Rain" by Superchic[k]

It seriously does not seem worth it.
Crying all the time, after something happens.
It's getting ridiculous.
I'm sick because of him.
I feel this way because of him.
Is it worth it anymore?
Someday, are we gonna show up on Dr. Phil because we won't be able to get through this?
Our relationship is soon to be ruined.
There is no way to patch it back up if he doesn't want to try.
I want everything to be better.
I want to do anything to make it better, but it doesn't seem like he wants to try.
Why try then?
My throat is swollen.
My eyes are red.
Mascara streaks ran down my face.
Twoo hours of crying.
I want it to rain.
So I can just stand there and cry.
No one will know.
No one will think that is what I am really doing.
Why? Why?
This has lasted for almost a year.
It hasn't gotten any better.
What can I do to make it better?
I want to erase everything that happened.
Everyone says it's not my fault.
He's turning the tables.
It wasn't my fault, he thinks that it is.
I can't believe that it really lasted this long.
Twoo hours of crying.
There has been other times.
This is the last time he will do this.
I'm not gonna let him destroy my feelings.
He says I only call him when I want something.
That is true.
But why would I want to call him when he keeps scaring me away from him.
Whenever he gets mad at me, time freezes.
I can't think of anything to say.
That's why he always wins.
I want to tell him how I really feel.
How would I do that?
I want everything to go back how it was years ago.
Visiting him every other week to every time I can.
He used to always call me.
Every single day.
I was being suffocated.
So I guess eventually kept ignoring him.
Then he eventually quit trying..
So maybe I am at fault a little bit.
But he got annoying.
I never had anything new to tell him.
The conversations were boring and old.
I thought maybe if I called him on my own terms,
I would have something to tell him.
But it lead to this.
In the beginning of this year,
when I haven't talked to him for almost 4-5 months,
was alright.
Everyone thought it was okay.
But I was trying to runaway from my problems.
It just made things worse.
Unless, he is wrong.
It's not my fault.
I have my step dad here.
I can't call him "Dad".
I did when I was younger and my dad found out & got mad.
If I did call him "Dad", I would see my dad's face.
Anger.
Pain.
I don't want to replace my dad in my ♥.
But it wouldn't be a replacement.
Just saying who really is acting as one.

P.S. I love you. And I always will, Dad.

to be continued...

(Hey, sorry if no one understood what I was writing. At the time, I was really angry and upset. Everything didn't flow out, it poured out. The music video above is a really good song that I thought goes with the poem.)

I LOVE GARIN 8:25 PM

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Winter(:

"Santa Claus Lane" by Hilary Duff

I love the winter! It's my favorite time of the year because... I don't know. LOL! I guess because it is the one time of the year that I get to see my whole family happy and together.

At the end of November, it is always about Thanksgiving & the turkey... Basically just getting fat. Haha, but the food is just so good! Then the day after Thanksgiving is Black Friday which I am never able to do. I want to sleep from eating all of that turkey. Haha! Then during December is when it all starts! Somewhere in November, I was in my friends seeing the movie The Haunting of Molly Hartley, and we saw the arrival of Santa & Mrs. Claus at the Promenade Mall. That was also the night they lit up the enormous Christmas tree. It was the first time for me to see the mall all decorated for Christmas since 7th grade. We passed a stand where some people were

selling ornaments, a couple groups of carolers (which could've possibly been the same groups), the scents of pine and cinnamon, passing Hickory Farms' stand, etc.

During the holidays is so much fun! My family tradition is that my mom takes me one day to do all of my shopping, then same with Kassidy & Emilee. Then when we have to shop for mom, my step dad takes the threee of us on a shopping spree usually in the evening.

On Christmas morning, I love watching my little sisters get overly excited because every year Santa leaves a trail of mini candy canes from each of our bedroom doors that leads down the stairs to the Christmas tree. Then they find an eaten up carrot outside on the driveway from the reindeer and all the cookies on Santa's plate is almost gone. It is so funny becuase they always get overly excited of all of the gifts Santa left them.

I remember when I was little, well.. Maybe in 6th or 7th grade, I heard that someone was getting a ring. So I just thought, "Awww, someone is getting married?" But I never thought deeply about it on who it was for. So on Christmas morning, my step dad Steve, gave me a tiny red and gold box that would only fit one thing. A ring. So when I was opening it, everyone was watching me. So when I lifted the lid, I was blinded by the shine of the diamond. Yeah, a diamond ring. Okay well he calls it a Princess Ring. But I just totally remember that moment.

My favorite movies to watch during the holidays:

ELF
Home Alone (all sequels)
The Polar Express
The Santa Claus (1-3)
The Muppet Christmas Carol
How The Grinch Stole Christmas
A Christmas Story
A Charlie Brown Christmas
Shrek The Halls

I LOVE GARIN 10:32 AM

Saturday, December 6, 2008

K.N.T. & N.N.O.

So tonight, I just realized that I totally miss Katie. I had another meltdown, but I don't think that I have ever had a big one like this for her. I miss her so much!

I miss all the times when:

she slept at my house
we swam all night in my pool
we played ping pong with my mom & step dad in the garage
we texted each other during class when we sat right next to each other
played volleyball
we went to the movies & almost wet our pants
photobooths
shopping together
always going to Starbuck's
laughing at certain "meanies" when they got embarrasses
having sleepovers with our peeps
she was always at my house having dinner with us
she was always at my house anyways
"studying" together
taking pictures at the most randomest times
giving each other nicknames
babysitting her gma's dogs
Spirit Days
going out to dinner
party buses
going to the park :D

We were always happy, except during the ups-and-downs part. But that doesn't even matter now. If we made it this far, that shouldn't matter. Besides, it the past, and you can't change the past, just the future. So I am still texting her right now. All I could think about is how much fun we always had together. We shared our tears, our laughs, our pains, our smiles, and our love. According to her, we have hard-core love (friendship wise you sick people).

I LOVE GARIN 8:10 PM